One year ago today our beautiful, sweet, loving little girl lost her courageous battle to brain cancer.
I remember the evening in the ER when we were told she had a brain tumor my first reaction was no, your wrong. There is nothing wrong with Samantha’s brain… she was ever so perfect. After letting it sink in a little I thought okay if this is true it will change her life but let’s go ahead and fix it and work at getting her all better. The words she has less than a 10% chance of beating this type of tumor bounced off me for months. I was certain she would beat it. She was so strong and otherwise healthy. I could not picture life without her.
Here we are an entire year since she passed and I still can’t wrap my head around it. It feels like just yesterday she was here laughing and being silly as she often was. It also feels like an eternity. It is so strange what grieving does with time. The thought that she will never come home is unbearable at best.
Samantha went about her days with a smile almost up until the day she died. She had such a positive attitude and always lifted people up around her. She was truly amazing. We know she would want us to continue our lives like that as well. Everything we do is so bittersweet though. With every smile there are tears. There will always be a hole in us that can never be filled. Samantha didn’t leave this world alone a part of us went with her when she left. The love we feel for her continues to grow as we spend our days missing her and remembering her.
The trials we faced during this journey were life changing to say the least. Looking back at the road we traveled seems so un-real. When I see commercials for St. Jude and see the hallways, waiting rooms and front entrance that I walked down every day for almost 3 months with Samantha it comes flooding back at me like waking up from an awful nightmare. I can't believe I was ever there, even worse that Samantha was there fighting for her life and now she's gone. The how's and the why's are endless. We did make incredible friendships a long the way that we are forever grateful for though.
We will continue to try to help other families facing these challenges through the Memorial Fund as we pray a cure is found before any more precious children are taken from their loving families.
We have had tremendous support making this happen and we would like to express our deepest gratitude to everyone for all their help and generosity throughout the past two years. We would also like to thank everyone for the love and support you have given to us. We draw our strength from all of you who continue to be by our side.
Samantha you were no doubt one of God’s most precious creations and you are deeply loved and missed by so many. Life will never be the same without you sweetie.
With Love and Thanks,
Audra, Kurt, Christopher, & Jason